10.12.09
Posted in My Musings at 8:07 pm by Arlene LeVine
Recently someone said to me, “you are a real Christian women.” I can’t imagine myself as that especially in view of the events in my life during the past year and a half that have caused me to question my faith. Recently I was watching an episode of Numbers and one of the characters said, “in the past, one door closed and another has always opened but now I feel I’m in the vestibule of uncertainty.” I thought to myself, that’s exactly where I feel I am and have been for so long.
Where is God? A question I have asked myself many times of late and yet I know God is here and everywhere. I see him in a child’s smile, in the autumn hues, in the simple pleasures of life, friendship and love, a meal shared with good friends old and new. But when I see the suffering in the world, sick children, old people being neglected, children being hurt at the hands of those who are supposed to protect them and I wonder, where is God? Did he look away for a moment? Does he not care? If he is an all seeing all loving and forgiving God, then how can he allow these things to happen and what do you do when bad things happen to good people.
I don’t have the answers and as I struggle with my faith. These things and my own troubles have caused med to question God. As a Christian and a Catholic I’m not suppose to question God but just accept that he has a greater plan for me than I have for myself; but even Peter lost his faith for awhile. There are those who say that God doesn’t allow these things, man does. Then how do you explain a baby born with cancer, or floods that take the lives of hundreds, tsunamis, hurricanes, famine, and why must any child suffer from unbearable and often incurable illnesses? Did man create these things? I don’t think so. Questions with no answers.
People have told me that I’m a strong person but I don’t feel strong. What is strength anyway. If it’s just moving forward when all you really want to do is crawl into bed and pull the covers over you and shut the world out, then I guess I’m strong. If you keep putting one foot in front of the other and move through life, going through the motions like some robot than I guess I’m strong; but what about those who have suffered great loss and sorrow and do shut down, are they any less strong? Somehow I don’t think so.
Maybe my faith was never that strong to begin with therefor I haven’t really lost it. I know that I will keep praying as I have done. I know my prayers have been answered in the past. Maybe not always as I would have had them answered but nonetheless they have been. I still believe in God and always will. I still believe that I will be united with those whom I love that have passed and I must believe that there is a purpose to all things but I’m not meant to know why. If I didn’t believe in these things than I couldn’t go on and life is a gift and I’m meant to make the most.
Seems like we look for God in all the wrong places and the one place we should be looking is in our hearts.
As for A Question Of Faith, well maybe this quote sums it up, with my apologies to God and Baroness Orczy:
“They seek him here. They seek him there. Those Frenchies seek him everywhere. Is he in Heaven? Or is he in Hell? That damned, illusive, pimpernel.”
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09.09.09
Posted in My Musings at 3:03 pm by Arlene LeVine
September 9, 2009
A little over two weeks ago I returned home to Philadelphia from an eight month stint in San Diego. A beautiful place, for those of you who have never been there, but a place I’m not sure I want to live permanently. I guess I’m just a dyed in the wool Easterner. It may not always be sunny in Philadelphia but it’s always sunny in San Diego. I miss the change of seasons especially these beautiful fall days and the marvelous colors that permeate the country side; nature at its’ best.
Did I say that we drove across country? Now many of you may be amazed at that but I want to tell you, before you book that flight out of the country or even in the country and have the pleasure of being hurdled in like cattle to a seat that only a stick model can comfortably fit into. Not to mention, suffer the indignity of a search all in the name of safety (and are we really any safer or is it just a false sense of security that the NSA has prevailed upon us.) I’d like to say, to paraphrase a slogan from the 50’s ……”See America First!”
Yes folks there is so much wonder and beauty in this country and most poor suckers have never ventured more than 50 miles from home. Believe it or not. Every trip I make across country I see something I haven’t seen before and yes I have done this trip so many times I have lost count. The unexpected places you come across and the people you meet along the way, I think it’s what travel is really all about.
This trip we stopped at Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico. What a place, I can’t even begin to describe it. If you have the time and the inclination look it up on the web. I’v been to several caverns here in Pennsylvania and in Virginia but there is nothing like this place in the world, truly amazing. I was fascinated by the many varied and huge (and I mean huge) formations and with the story of Jim White, who at age 16 was probably the first person to explore the caves.
Met some really nice folks in a town called Artesia and yes it is where they first drilled and came up with the Artesian well water. This little gem of a town, in the middle of no where and just 30 miles from the famed Area 59 in Roswell, NM was a wonderful find, We may never have found this town except for the fact that the only hotel room available close to the caverns was in Artesia. All over the town are these wonderful bronze sculptures and in the very center of town a huge drilling rig of bronze over a fountain depicting the discovery of the prized water. Sadly the waters have dried up but the oil hasn’t and this area supplies much of it for the entire state.
The many wonders in this country and our great National Parks are things that I think every American should see. Driving around the country isn’t for everyone but before booking that cruise or trip to the Bahamas and whether you choose to drive, fly or go by train think about exploring this great country first, you won’t regret it. Instead of making a second mortgage on your home to take your family to DisneyWorld or Sea World, think about taking them on a trip to to Mount Rushmore, the Grand Canyon, any of the many fascinating and outstandingly beautiful places right here in America.
I’m recalling Dina Shore singing, “See the USA in your Chevrolet, America’s the greatest place of all.” Amen to that!
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06.28.09
Posted in My Musings at 9:03 pm by Arlene LeVine
Sunday June 28, 2009
Here I am at the Hotel Del again, as you know, one of my favorite spots here in San Diego. When I arrived in San Diego it was December and the lawn had been transformed into an ice skating rink and there was a huge Christmas tree in the lobby. Now the lawn is being prepared for an evening wedding with flowers and pretty white wooden chairs. In the center the decorators have set up a marque complete with a chandelier.
I’m sitting on a bench facing the ocean; it’s a beautiful sunny day after the many dark and cloudy days of the past two weeks, June gloom as the locals refer to it. Up on the deck a calypso group is playing and the music is being carried on the wind. As usual here at the Del there are lots of tourists mulling about. Off in the distance sail boats punctuate the blue ocean.
Today, LIFE IS GOOD!!
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